Lunch in the Park

I’ve started taking my lunch in Retama Park on Maple Avenue.  It’s a three minute walk from my office…and few people are ever there in the middle of day.  This park has become a delightful escape from the technology, air-conditioning, and straight lines of the office.

Today, as in other days, I sit on a bench towards the center of the park, the only bench that’s actually in the shade.   A large water-oak spreads it limbs to block the harsh south Texas sun.  In the shade, the constant breezes making their way from the Gulf make the spot perfect for reading, thinking…or dozing.

I’m reading a novel—Tony Hillerman (The Walking Wind).  Out of the corner of my eye, a person comes into view…a boy…a young boy…a BIG boy…maybe 10-years-old?  He has his basketball.  He makes his way onto the concrete courts where the netting is half torn away from the baskets.  He begins to dribble and shoot—duip, duip, duip, duip….plunk!...duip, duip, duip….

I return to my novel.  Shortly, my mind begins to wander…and the sun is slipping through the leaves making the pages bright…hurting my eyes.  I lay the book down, lean my elbows on my knees to escape the sun, and rest my chin on my loosely balled fists.  About 25 feet away, a Mexican ground squirrel scurries, haltingly, through the scrubby grass.

“You bored?”

I hadn’t noticed that the dribbling had stopped.  Turning to the voice, the lad stands ten feet away looking at me, ball in hand.

“No, not bored…just sitting here thinking.”

“I’m bored.”

“Well, at least you have a park to play some basketball in.  Do you live close by?”

He points across the street to the public housing for the elderly.

“So, you get to come over anytime you want.  That’s cool.”

“Yeah…but I’m bored…I’m SO bored.  I can’t wait for school to start back.”

“Well, don’t wish away these summers!  I remember when I was your age that summers dragged on forever.  Now, I don’t get summer breaks…and I miss those days."

“Well, I just know I’m bored."

“What grade are you in?”

“I’m going into sixth grade!”

“Oh…so, is that middle school?”

“I’m not from around here.  I’m just visiting my grandma.  I live in Elsa” (a small, rural town some 45 minutes from where we are.)

Not really an answer to my question…but, I guess he thought ahead to cut off the next inevitable question.

“Ah…just spending some time with Grandma?”

“Yeah.  You wanna play some ball?”

Laughing a bit, “Uh…well, I have to go back to the office here in a minute, and in this heat, I’d be a sweaty mess if I played ball.  So, I can’t this time….”

“Oh…yeah, okay.  You work at STC?”

“Yes, I work at STC.”

“What do you do?”

“I work in Institutional Effectiveness.”

“What’s that?”

“Well, I make sure everyone in all the programs and departments stay on track.”

“Oh…sort of like ‘school monitor’?”

“Yeah…kind of like a ‘school monitor’.”  I laugh.

My lunch hour really is up, so I stand.

“Well, I need to get back to work.  Have a good time shootin’ hoops.”

“Okay…I will.  See you later.”

“See you….”  And, off I go, back towards the office.

There are good kids in this world.  He talked easily with me, an adult.  He allowed himself to be curious, to ask questions.  He was kind…and didn’t cuss (kind of rare for our neck of the woods.)  He had no devices visible of any kind—no phone, no tablet—nothing to distract him from his surroundings…or from our conversation.

Next time, I’m going to shoot some hoops.  And, I plan to have a book to give him in his season of boredom.  Next time, if God gives me a next time….

A very good read for our day and time:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/arthur-rosenfeld/simplify_b_1253917.html?ref=tw

Enjoy!

No Fences

How many times have you heard the parable of the lost sheep? It was one of the stories from my earliest memories. When I was a child, my parents bought me a set of delightful books, Arch Books, that presented some of the greatest Bible stories in full color. The shepherd in the story-book was named “Jon”…just like me!—Jon and the Little Lost Lamb. I believe I read that book over and over and over.
As an adult, I still love to hear the story of the lost sheep (found in Luke 15:4-7 in the New Testament):
“Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn't he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.”
The parable is lovely…the rescue wonderful.
As an adult with good, modern leadership training, I can’t help but think things through to the next step—I’m a ‘problem solver,’ so let’s solve this! Okay, so the Shepherd has a problem with wandering sheep? The answer, of course, is logical—build an enclosure. With a simple fence, the sheep won’t be wandering off. The Shepherd won’t have to waste important time chasing lost sheep who knows where. The 99 need not be abandoned for the foolishness of the one who doesn't know his or her place. I mean, there is already a night enclosure; why not a day enclosure as well? No more lost sheep. All’s well that ends well. End of story.
But wait. The Shepherd once recognized every sheep…knew the spots and peculiarities of each sheep. Before, He knew the bleat and baa of each ram, ewe, and lamb. He counted and recounted the sheep…slept among the sheep…played His lyre or flute for the sheep. If the sheep ran off, He knew where they probably were…and went after them until He found them
Not anymore. What happens to the Shepherd now? His real concern now becomes the fence. His work becomes maintaining the fence. The attention is now on the fence…the quality and solidity of the posts…the integrity of the wire…the possibility of holes. Time is spent replacing posts, repairing fencing. Instead of walking among the sheep, the former Shepherd-turned-‘fence tender’ is walking the perimeter, eyes on the fence, back to the sheep. If he’s strolling the outside of the fence, the sheep are just something in his peripheral vision.
So, the Shepherd in Luke 15 never considers a fence. He rescues the lost sheep, returns her to the fold. The next day, He again takes the flock out to the green pastures where He watches them…and watches over them. He gives His sheep the freedom to wander, to roam…and to return. He focuses His life on His sheep…to know them by name…to recognize them from afar. He looks for one lost sheep after another so they can have the freedom of a fence-less life and the joy of knowing their Shepherd. The sheep know their Master’s voice. They go to Him, and He scratches their heads, behind their ears. He pulls out His flute and plays that same simple tune they've grown to know and love. They feel safe with Him. Yes, they place their trust in their Shepherd…not in fences.

Are We Born Good or Bad?

Often times in my classes, we begin to discuss those questions that deal with ‘worldview’ and ‘ultimate reality.’  The questions usually begin to surface when I suggest that our perspectives and understandings of the world are built on the foundation of our ‘presuppositions’—those underlying beliefs that we bring to every situation or question.  For instance, we have all have presuppositions about humanity.  I ask my students, “Are people, humans, basically good or basically bad?”

How we answer this question will inform how we deal with others, what we expect of people, how we raise our children, etc.  If I presume humanity to be basically good, then I’m horrified at the Columbines, Auroras, Newtowns and city buses of New Delhi; if I presume humanity to be basically bad, then I’m not terribly surprised by the horrors of humanity (or at least I shouldn’t be!)

But, is there another option?  After we have debated and fleshed out the good or bad perspectives in my classes, I raise a third perspective (presupposition)—humanity is not good or bad; people are born selfish, self-centered.

Anyone who has ever had children will recognize it in a moment.  Children really aren’t morally good or bad until they are old enough to make conscious decisions regarding themselves in relation to others.  BUT, from the moment they are born, they are absolutely self-absorbed, self-centered, selfish.  They want milk…and they want it now.  Then, they want attention.  They want praise.  They want…want…want.  The children don’t just ‘grow out of it’ – just take a three-year-0ld up and down aisles of Toys-R-Us or even just a local grocery stores and you’ll hear it—“But I want….!  Waaaaaaaa!”  I even hear it from teenagers…and, lamentably, from adults as well….

If we were born bad, that would explain some of the horror we see in the world…but not the good we see.  If we were born good,…then the world should certainly be a much better place than it is!  But, if we are born selfish…then, well, that would explain a lot about the world…the good and the bad.

If individuals are selfish, then groups of individuals would develop a “group selfishness”…and we see that as corporations seek market control, political parties push for their party line, as governments push for patriotism and nationalism.  In fact, if we look at many of the problems today—from the small and local to the big and national, we can trace the origins of the problems back to good, old-fashioned selfishness and egoism.

I believe that the Christian Scriptures recognize self-worship and self-importance as the greatest problem with humanity…and call for self-emptying as the highest act of faith.  Jesus taught his followers, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends” (TNIV).  The very greatest love one can have is to commit a selfless act. Jesus even 'walked the talk'...right up to an agonizing death on the Cross.  If that is the greatest love, then the opposite—the worst thing one can do—is to pursue selfishness.

So, if we ‘buy’ this idea—humanity is first and foremost selfish—what does that mean for us?  It means that before or as we teach our children to be ‘good,’ we have to teach them to think of others, to act on behalf of others, to live for the benefit of others…and not just unto themselves.  It means that as adults we must be willing to set aside the pursuit of our personal gain and recognize that we must help others to achieve and gain as well.  It means that our institutions, companies and corporations must look beyond themselves and the bottom-line profits.  It means that our nation and all the other nations must do more than help themselves.

Are people basically good or basically bad?  No…we are basically selfish, and the great human task is to train the coming generation—and move ourselves—to look beyond ourselves, to think of others.  The life of following Christ is the only way that takes us there.  Through Him, we learn to lay down our lives...as He laid down His own.

Youth...

Youth is not a time of life—it is a state of mind;

it is a temper of the will, a quality of the imagination, a vigor of the emotions, a predominance of courage over timidity….

Nobody grows old by merely living a number of years; people grow old only by deserting their ideals. 

Years wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul. 

Worry, doubt, self-distrust, fear and despair—these are long, long years that bow the head and turn the growing spirit back to dust.

Whether 70 or 16, there is in every being’s heart the unfailing childlike appetite for…the joy of the game of life. 

You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt;

as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear;

as young as your hope;

as old as your despair. 

So long as your heart receives messages of beauty, cheer, courage, grandeur and power from the earth, from man and from the Infinite, so long are you young.

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What We Do & Who We Are

In a perfect world, what we do and who we are fall into a beautiful alignment. Even in our imperfect world, there are those who find this alignment…some for a season and a few for a lifetime.

My job title is “Institutional Effectiveness & Assessment Analyst.” Seeing my title, you might actually think that I am an analyst. But, you’d be mistaken. You see, in my heart, I am a teacher, an educator. A set of circumstances in the last year moved me into this position, but I’ll save that for another time. Suffice to say, what I do is not in line with who I really am. I don’t love that, but it is what it is.

However, in my position as an analyst, I do have the freedom to teach a course each semester at our college. The Office of Institutional Effectiveness & Assessment ‘owns’ me for eight hours a day, but before or after those eight hours, I am free to do as I wish. And, thanks to a wonderful English department chair and a constant need for adjunct instructors, I get to teach an evening course each semester.

Now, I could have taken an attitude of “all or nothing”—I want to be a teacher, or I want nothing to do with it. But if I did that, I would miss out on knowing the 18 wonderful students I have this semester, students whose lives I’m entering, with whom I’m sharing my life. I’m teaching them writing…and—hopefully!—a whole lot more. Since I need to work to support my family, I’ll take the analyst job and make the very best of it; since my soul burns to teach and be with students, I’ll take whatever teaching opportunity—large or small—that comes my way.

I have a feeling that this same disjunction happens in the life of faith. What we do and who we are spiritually often doesn’t line up either. So many followers of Jesus want to spend their lives in service to God…but there’s work at banks, firms, restaurants, etc. Many, I’m sure, would enjoy spending day after day losing themselves in Scripture, song, or prayer…would prefer to be far away in a distant land sharing the faith through friendships…would rather be constructing a house of worship or training young Christian leaders. But, what they do and who they are just don’t line up.

What to do? The same thing I do—take every opportunity large and small that comes along to live that life of faith. If there is a mission trip, jump on it! If there is a project in the community, latch onto it. If there is a chance to spend 20 minutes in Scripture, song, or prayer, enjoy those 20 minutes. If there is a short-term trip to a distant land, save your money and take the trip. If there is a mission team going to build a church or going to help train and encourage new Christian leaders, go for it! Don’t “wait for retirement.” And for goodness sakes, don’t take an attitude of “all or nothing.”

Yes, I wish that my work and my passion were better aligned, but they’re not…for now. Just another reminder that we live in a ‘broken world.’ But, I don’t have to let that ‘brokenness’ break me. I will do the work I have to do in order to be the provider I must be as a husband and father. But, I will also keep my eye on the dream…I’ll keep the passion alive…and work in that direction. And, every time I get a chance to take a step towards my true self, my passion, my faith, I’ll take it…and enjoy it…and make it count. We aren’t what we do—we are who we are…with the call and passions that God has placed in us.

Ever Changing…Yet Unchanging

Yes, there is something rather contradictory about such a title, but I have come to find this seeming paradox quite true.  In our culture at large, we come to value the unchanging, the steady, the constant.  I have heard someone say of another, “Oh, Mr. So-in-So…he is as steady as they come; you count on him like you can the sunrise.”  That’s a pretty high complement…one I’ve often wished to overhear being said about me…but probably never will.  That’s because I’m not in the ‘steady’ or ‘constant’ crowd.  I’m more likely to hear something like, “Oh, Jon…there he goes again…so fickle...chasing another dream….”

I am a human…alive...and that means change.  Yet, in the midst of change, there ARE some constants.  For example, one unchanging aspect of my life is the love I have for my wife.  But, how I EXPRESS that love is ever changing.  At times, this love is expressed in a very physical way, through a closeness that I experience with no one else in this world.  At other times, this love is expressed through a glance, a quick look filled with meaning and depth that brings a subtle smile.  We have “off” days, bad days.  On those days, my love for her may be expressed by silence…by saying nothing…by taking three hours at the local library or coffee shop to give her (or me) needed space.  Yet, underneath the surface of multifaceted expression, the love remains…unchanging. 

Another unchanging aspect of my life is my faith in God.  As with my love for my wife, my faith in God is expressed in many different ways.  On Sunday mornings, I gather with ‘Jesus people’ in a large group where I sing loudly and passionately…where I sway a bit to the music…where I join in group study and reflection on the Christian Scriptures.  During the week, I don’t do those things too much.  (I think my office mates are glad I don’t.  I believe if I did that, I’d probably be fired.)  So, my faith—though unchanging—will be lived out and expressed in different ways depending on the situation, the context.  Some days I identify with the 1^st Century Christians as I read the letters of Paul to those early groups of ‘Jesus people.’  Some days, I identify with the Desert Fathers of the 3^rd Century…or with the Celtic Christians of the 6^th Century…with the Reformers of the 16^th Century…then with the new ‘radicals’ of the 21^st Century.  At times my faith has me focused on our Creator God…at times on God the Son…and at other times on the Spirit of God.  I’m all over the place—in my expression, identifications, and foci.  But, the underlying faith is unchanging.

One of the tenets of the Christian faith is the unchanging God, yet God is always changing.  In Scripture, we find God changing His mind, changing His plans—just read the powerful, emotion-packed interchanges between God and Moses…or read through the Psalms.  Then, 2000 years ago, God changed—God experienced something that He had never before experienced.  The Creator became creation; God became human. (Think of it this way:  The man who makes the oak rocking chairs somehow becomes one of those rocking chairs—that is almost mind-blowing!)  Yet, our God is unchanging as well—forever Creator and Sustainer of all things; forever Author of love and of our salvation; forever Emmanuel—God with us.  But, how God interacts with us may change and does change.  How God reveals Himself to us may vary from day to day, and certainly from culture to culture—He meets us through a song, in a reading, in a sunset, in a stranger, in silence.  So, WHO God is never changes.  God is “the same yesterday, today and forever.”

And me?  I’ll still chase dreams.  I’ll have my ups and downs.  But, below the multiple layers of expression and the swirl of human emotions, yes—I find a solid, unchanging core…and that unchanging aspect—I must believe—is directly related to my faith in and the presence of the Unchanging One.  I’m ever changing…yet unchanging.